Intention

So fellow travelers, January 1st rang in more than a new year, it’s brought us across the threshold of a whole new decade.

Bypassing references to the previous decade of 20’s ( in which the high point is clearly the creation of Mickey Mouse) for me the main significance of this new decade is it also marks the beginning of the holy grail known as

~ R * E * T * I * R *E * M * E * N * T ~

It will be a few more months (or 140 days, not that I am really keeping track) until I can declare myself free to adventure at will and I have many objectives to accomplish before then. This year, I approached my annual planning process from a different perspective by writing intentions rather than making resolutions.

The difference runs deeper than mere semantics. To me an intention feels more internally driven. When we say “That’s exactly what I intended to happen!” we are referencing something we consciously chose. Intentions give our choices an internally sourced purpose. For example by saying I intend to nourish my body with healthy meals I am creating a more mindful way of making choices about what to eat. It also removes some of the judgement and sense of failure when I might fall short of the mark. When I say “I will eat healthy meals,” as soon as I have french fries and a bacon cheeseburger I have now failed to do what I said I would do, even though I did not say I will “always” eat healthy meals.

“Potayto, potahto, tomayto, tomahto” Ok, I hear you. Perhaps a seemingly insignificant change of wording, but it’s been my experience the shift in how words feel makes a meaningful difference in how consistent and persistent my follow through will be. Breaking our own word is the ultimate betrayal to ourselves and we are not likely to persist in pursuing a broken promise. But if I did something other than what I intended to do, that simply becomes an error I can strive to correct with a different choice next time. The potential for fulfilling my intention still feels possible and I do not waste any energy “shoulding” on myself. “I could’ve, would’ve or should’ve” is a cycle stuck in blame and judgement; “I can, I will and I shall” moves me forward beyond a misstep.

One important intention I set for myself is to write everyday, not all of which will end up as blog posts, but an element of that intention is to post here as close to once weekly as possible, even if it is a simple photo and haiku. So thank you for following along, I believe the path ahead looks quite promising.

Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready.

Christmastide

So fellow travelers, Christmas morning dawns today with radiant Light

Although our kids will not be with us this year, I am profoundly happy they are celebrating together in PDX and we will open presents with them via Skype later today.
And I am deeply grateful to be at my parents’ home for Christmas this year.

It has been over thirty years since I opened presents with my parents on Christmas morning. Back in 1986 they joined me and my husband for our first Christmas in our new house in Upstate New York- the house we still call home, where we raised our daughters creating so many special Christmas memories over the years.

This afternoon our kids will join the family gathering at my brother’s home to share Christmas greetings via video on our phones. I am grateful for the technology which will make it possible to be connected when I might otherwise feel so far away from them. It is a distance which I plan to bridge in the coming year.

As I watched the sun rise through the window where my parents little tree glowed surrounded by many presents, words of gratitude began to speak from deep in my heart.

Of all the gifts beneath the tree
I know the best is yet to be
For later on our family
will gather with much revelry
Joy and laughter will resound with
presents passing all around and
warm thank you hugs we will exchange
and pause to reach for who remains
as memories within our hearts
be near or far, no distance parts
for Love transcends and outlasts time
the greatest gift to yours and mine.

Walk gently on the path my fellow travelers and may this season of Light bless you and yours with peace and love and joy.

First Light

So fellow travelers, I woke early on the morning of the Winter Solstice to watch the sunrise and witnessed a beautiful cascade of changing colors. The waning crescent moon seemed to smile as darkness gently gave way to light. This first day of winter, marking the return of Light.

Moon smiles morning blush
First Light brings solstice blessings
Winter pause begins

It took a few days to translate the moment into words- the first two lines came immediately, however expressing the essence of winter in five simple syllables required a bit more pondering. For me Winter has always been a time to synthesize the lessons of the previous year, to gain perspective, set goals and gather resources for the intentions set for the New Year. It is an essential pause in my ongoing journey to wherever it is this adventure of life is leading me.

2009-2019

Reflecting on this year, which also marks the end of a decade, I find myself ready to let the lessons of the past become the momentum for my new intentions. We don’t move forward if we always look back and I am looking forward to a new chapter in my life. Adventure calls and I intend to be ready.

Blessings of this season be with you all. May Light grace your holiday celebrations and carry you into a bright new decade of hope and joy.

The Hole in the Sky

So fellow travelers, as so often is the way of this world a wave of busyness took over almost every spare moment of the past three weeks. 

accidental artistry

The irony of this following my last post was not lost on me. I was acutely aware, even a bit distressed, about not taking time to continue writing for the final four days of Michelle GD’s #GratitudeWeek2019 project. To be honest I hit a wall at the prompt about five things we consistently experienced every day which we were grateful for. Three came easily to mind but five ? 

I finally created an honest list:
*The first sip of coffee in the morning
*The welcome home yips and wiggles of our dog
*The light of golden hour
*Birds seen at my feeder or heard when walking
*Water as a cool drink at lunch or a warm comforting shower at day’s end

As I realized it contained nothing from work, I felt disappointed.
Then the next prompts connected more dots, as I was directed to find one “sliver” of  good in a difficult time and after that to be aware of our feelings at different times of the day and to find a bit of gratitude in each. The sum total of these exercises revealed how little enjoyment remains in what I do each day because my job has changed so much in the past three years. No small wonder I have felt disappointed; I do not want to become one of “those” people  “just” counting the days to retirement.

Then the final prompt offered a shift in the process; Michelle wrote:
“Maybe you don’t want to make a traditional list, so perhaps try one of these:
Draw a big circle (or a little circle) and write your gratitudes inside. Write your gratitudes in a spiraling circle, starting center and working out (or the reverse.) Draw a flower and write gratitudes in each of the petals. Make a star-filled sky of gratitudes by sketching out stars, then painting in a wash of color for the night sky, then filling each star with a gratitude.Have a little fun…just get your gratitudes down

The drawing I created brought such joy, my eyes stung with tears. So, in between the busyness of the weeks leading up to our annual Thanksgiving marathon of cooking and road trips to take in much cherished time with family, I began to reclaim my art studio space from the clutter of other projects.  More significant, I reclaimed my perspective at work.
Each day my only expectation of myself is that I show up ready to do the tasks required for that day with a positive attitude. Let all the systemic issues be taken care of by those more invested in the process going forward. I have my sights set on new goals and this shift leaves space for more moments of joy and laughter. Even as the weather turned greyer and darkness fell earlier each day, I began to reconnect with the little moments of beauty ~ 

and peace ~

 

and hope

The hole in the sky
where the Light comes shining through
is how Love finds us

Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready

November Zen

So fellow travelers, as Michelle #GratitudeWeek2019 continues the prompt for today is to think about what (or who) we might take for granted.
What came to mind was time. 

What came to mind was
……. time……
Today I had a dentist appointment and even though I ended up having a filling repaired I felt grateful. Because I had to take time off for the appointment I was given a chance to take our dog for a longer walk when I got home.

Bracing cold November winds gave me this view and haiku.

Deep arctic blue sky
Oak leaves rattle acorns fall
Sunlight hugs my soul

As the novocaine wears off and a little ache sets in I realize it is simply a reminder of how precious just a few extra hours can be.

Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready

Tag

So fellow travelers, todays #GratitudeWeek2019 prompt from Michelle GD was to slow down and practice noticing what she calls “the tiny moments.”

Sunlit Autumn path

This is something I have become more attuned to since my Spirit of Sixty Road Trip, two summers back. Actually, it is a habit I feel I am really reclaiming because I remember myself as a kid always wanting to stop to look more closely at things yet being told to stop day dreaming. 

Today, I set out on my afternoon walk with our dog being mindful of the prompt to practice awareness. Fall colors have peaked and recent storms have blown most of the leaves off the trees. I watched the wind toss neatly raked leaves all about the neighborhood. I thought about how grateful I am to have seen the miraculous colors of Autumn here in Upstate New York for over four decades.

And as I did,  a line of leaves began to swirl around as if chasing one another in a big spiral. Right on cue this little haiku danced around my head.

Swirling in circles
Leaves play a mad game of tag
Last romp before snow

There is a decided chill in the air and snow in the forecast for later this week. The change back to standard time brought darkness by dinner time. Winter is on it’s way. I’ll need that practice of noticing the little moments to get through our longest, darkest season of the year.

Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready

Reclaiming Perspective

So fellow travelers, this journey has taken some wild and strange turns since we crossed through the equinox point. 

It has left me  too stunned for words, a state those who know me will claim is a true rarity. Week after week I sat down on Sunday morning to write and nothing evolved. To be honest plenty of words have come to mind but none of them postable*. So silence ( a plague bloggers dread) has ruled until this morning when my first writing prompt from Michelle GD’s gratitude project arrived in my inbox.
Gratitude (exhales deeply)
One simple change in focus and the perspective of everything shifts and the one bright point in the past six weeks (the one I intended to write about before chaos hijacked my days at work) is reclaimed and I find the words I needed to speak

Fears rage my heart waits
Faith is safe harbor in storms
Love will sail again

Exactly one month ago we traveled to Philadelphia to for a family celebration. It was the first time my entire family gathered together since Favorite Oldest Daughter and Favored Son-in-Law were married seven years ago and the story about this photo taken that day is in a previous post. We had all come to Philly to celebrate my nephew’s wedding. It was a wonderful weekend and in addition to the joy of new beginnings we also toasted my parents 63rd anniversary.

Patience, devotion, thoughtfulness~ the foundations of my parent’s relationship which has stood for decades as the benchmark for our own marriages. And a beautiful reminder of how much I have t be grateful for.

Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready

Balance Point

So fellow travelers, today is the equinox (autumnal for northern hemisphere and spring/vernal for southern hemisphere travelers)

I greeted the semi annual balance point of day and night hours from a different vantage point this year. A high desert sunrise more than makes up for anything it lacks in colorful foliage.

My time here has become an annual tradition. A gathering of spiritual explorers in a sacred space. We come to renew our connection to each other and to the Light and Peace within us.

On my last walk from the Zen Garden to breakfast I heard the signature hum of tiny wings and spotted a bright Anna’s hummingbird darting in and out as it drank from a fountain . A different offering of color for this change of seasons.

Winged gem dancing
with bubbling healing waters
harbinger of joy

A bright reminder to live from joy and yes, to stay hydrated.

Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready.

Haiku for Autumn

So fellow travelers, this new school year began with so many changes, it’s taken me quite a while to settle into a comfortable routine. Just yesterday, signs of the changing seasons began to nudge at the edge of my awareness~ I noticed darkness lingers longer after I rise and sunset’s glow comes soon after our evening walk. 

Migrating geese trace southbound compass arrows in the crisp blue skies and cool mornings reveal sleeping cloud dragons nestled in the valley just beyond a farmer’s fields

Cloud dragons at the edge of One Tree field

The fields are fading to tarnished gold and many summer songbirds have headed to their winter grounds, leaving only the lazy crickets ticking like unwinding clocks hidden in the grass. This afternoon, I found one deep red maple leaf cast on the edge of the path where Delilah and I walk each day. I brought it home and tucked it into a little jar of zinnias from my garden an image of things to come set with a backdrop of colors which will soon become memories.

As much as I love the luxurious freedom of summer days, autumn has always been my favorite season of the year. There is  a bittersweetness to the joys autumn brings. It comes and goes in a blaze of color, golden warmth giving way to the biting cold of winter all too soon. For now, a haiku to welcome the changes looming on the horizon.

Milkweed wishes fly

flirting with the autumn wind

making maples blush

Walk gently on the path my friends and ma adventure find you ready.

Back to the Beginning

So fellow travelers, back home from the last road trip of the summer, which brought me to the summit of several mountain trails.


Red Hill Fire Tower, one of two fire tower hikes accomplished this week.

Today, a turn of a calendar page, September arrives and just like that, summer adventures give way to another school year.  Back to the Beginning* we go.

Reflecting back on summer, it has packed so many good memories and peak experiences it somehow feels more than just ten weeks have passed. A measure perhaps of coming to the end of 73 days feeling satisfied not only with what I’ve done, but more essentially with how I lived those days. 

New friends

Time with family

Precious memories from a memorable event

.

Even a few wishes granted

Side Stage at the Fillmore, in Philadelphia PA. Watching Switchfoot on stage from the stage was incredible. Best view of Chad’s drumming in 13 concerts! Yes, my favorite humans even staged a snowball fight as a nod to the snowed out concert last February. And finally getting to see one of Jon’s legendary after shows, singing along with so many other people- community, FAMILY at its best.

.

Remarkably, this summer did not feel as if it flew by too quickly, making it unique to every previous summer I can remember.  The pace of life felt just right- a benefit perhaps to a conscious choice I made to live these months as if I am retired.

 Not that every day was perfect; mid-August brought an unexpected challenge in a long standing friendship which caught me off guard. Although the dynamics were not within my direct family, the fallout rippled through close relationships with people as dear to me as family. Navigating the emotional war zone felt like walking through a minefield, one wrong step and the collateral damage could be brutal.  

Or not.

The abandoned Overlook Hotel near the summit of Overlook Mountain

I could instead choose to not engage in the conflict, to honor my boundaries and create space for me to stay true to myself. 

Angry confrontations never resolve conflicts but choosing not to engage in confrontation is often seen as a sign of weakness. “Man-up” people say as if this stereotypical frame for confrontation as being “manly” aka “powerful and strong,” makes it more acceptable. It’s an expression which, if used in ernest, all but eliminates any respect I might have for someone.

Words spoken from anger rise from fear and people given to confrontation are always driven by their fears. Everyone is afraid and if we refuse to face those fears they become our Achilles heel.  Like an untreated wound, unknown fears will fester and eventually poison our choices with toxic dysfunction. Fear also blinds us to the goodness in our lives. It can harden our hearts and prevent us from giving and receiving love.

View from Overlook Mountain Fire Tower, a 1450 ft ascent, 3hrs 5min of hiking, 5.1 miles roundtrip and worth every step.

Sometimes the hardest crossroads are the ones where we must part ways from someone we care for deeply, yet we can continue to love them even as we move forward on our own journey, knowing they too can make a choice to change and healing will come. Standing in the shadow between then and now, I am grateful for the peace and strength gathered on this summer’s journeys. 

New season, new beginnings, let the adventures begin again.

Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready

*Back to the Beginning is one of my favorite songs by ( of course ) Switchfoot. I may not surf but it has carried me through waves of many changes.