So fellow travelers, September continued with it’s theme of significant losses. Thankfully, by Divine Grace, none were from the living. Still, the loss of a companion of a different sort created a domino sequence of changes which has yet again altered my path forward.
Farewell Little Blue RaVan
On the first evening of Autumn, after bidding farewell to the little blue Rav which has been my camping haven through this summer of disorienting losses I walked to a nearby road and watched the sun set. Once a year, the setting sun aligns exactly with the gap at the far end of this road and turns it into a golden pathway.
There’s a moment when all comes in alignment and the path turns to gold
In a year which has brought changes of a magnitude no one could possibly have accurately foretold, this ninth month became a crossroad from which there is no turning back. And as the saying goes, when the going gets tough, the tough get going.
Walk gently on the path my friends and let Love Light the way
So fellow travelers, flipping the calendar a few days ago brought a moment of peace I was deeply grateful to take in~
For the first time in 21 years, turning the calendar to August did not generate a rush of urgency fueled by the impossibility of “fitting in” all my planned adventures in the remaining weeks before going back to work at the end of summer. Yes, eventually summer heat will give way to the welcome crisp air of Autumn, my favorite season for hiking and camping. However, this year, the end of summer does not bring an end to my free time because I retired last June. So I stood for a few minutes and looked with profound gratitude at August’s small white squares of days so graciously open to possibilities. Of course as Pandemic2020 rages on in these not so United States of America, possibilities are not as easily translated into plans. In this too, being retired has helped me embrace the simple joy of stepping into each day with a heart open to what the day has to offer. That is a big (but very welcome) shift for an organized, over-thinker who makes lists and starts packing weeks before a trip. In fact as I write this post, Isaias’ path up the Atlantic coast has shifted westward just enough to dump “tropical rainfall” here, which means delaying my intended departure perhaps until tomorrow for this week’s camping trip. No worries- my favorite little campsite is reserved through the end of the week and waits, just like Inner Peace, for me to show up and claim it.
Walk gently on the path, my friends and let Love light the way.
So fellow travelers, pandemics, physical distancing and unseasonal weather are only one aspect of our current reality. To honor all that Mother’s Day means to me – this Haiku
Snow falls cold winds blow Yet spring flowers bravely bloom Hope and Love stand strong
Blessings of peace and joy to all mothers here and in heaven.
Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready.
So fellow travelers, February turned into a long, dark month.
Winter made a roaring comeback complete with winds howling in delight at our delusions of a “mild winter.” Even leap year’s extra day in this shortest of months seemed an added mockery. Displays of forced spring bulbs in my local grocery stores felt like false promises in the face of so much loss around me.
So many, too many, grieving friends.
One friend lost his only child, a beautiful young woman just a few years older than our own older daughter. One rushed to be with another friend facing her final hours shortly after receiving a fatal diagnosis. One was blind sided by a sudden job loss. Several friends said goodbye to cherished four legged companions.
And there is our neighbors’ house, which stands shrouded in mournful tarps, scorched black by a terrible fire in late January. Thankfully the young couple, their children and both dogs all escaped without harm but they just found out the house has been declared a total loss. They have lost most of their possessions and they had to make the heartbreaking decision to give up their dogs for adoption because they no longer have a home. Broken windows and doors have been boarded up to prevent vandalism, still, we keep a watchful eye on the property. Kid and dog toys lay scattered in the yard, the baby’s swing hangs empty, daily reminders of a life so fiercely and suddenly disrupted.
Sometimes there are no words to ease the intense grief of sudden loss. So for five weeks, while I navigated the ice dam of emotions. silence reigned my creative space. Until yesterday, when a message sent me 35 miles west on a quest to find something marvelous.
Those specs in the sky are hundreds, maybe thousands, of Snow Geese (Chen caerulescens) arriving at a wetland north of Montezuma National Wildlife Refuge. Delilah and I arrived just in time to catch this wave of migrating visitors seeking a resting place for the night. Although I only had my phone to capture photos and a short video*, a good pair of binoculars (which are always in my car) verified these were indeed Snow (not Canada) geese. The vast flock, gracefully swirling back and around, sent waves of calls across the shallow water. Wild music punctuated, by the dissonant squawking of resident gulls displeased at being ousted from the mudflats each time a band of geese would come to rest. As the sun slipped closer to the horizon, the marsh began to glow with a magical amber light and the white wings of the snow geese took on a soft rosy tint.
It was a wondrous, miraculous moment and as light faded, I drove home finally having found words to speak, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready.
So fellow travelers, the Big News in our corner of the Upstate neighborhood is that our city is BEHIND in the annual Golden Snowball Race.
For those who don’t reside in the snowbelt of Upstate NY ( which I think the majority of my readers can gratefully say they do not) the Golden Snowball is an award given to the Upstate NY city with the highest snow total by the end of the season. The contenders are Syracuse, Buffalo, Rochester, Albany and Binghamton. Buffalo always starts out strong (the epic storm in 2014 for example) but Syracuse holds the record for most wins thanks to the “slow but steady” accumulation which runs right through March. Lake Erie packs a punch, but Lake Ontario’s back breaking consistency (everyone in the Greater Syracuse area knows not to put those snow shovels away until after Mother’s Day) plows us towards a win year after year. Hence the reason my neighbors and I are always grateful when another city runs ahead of us or wins. Congrats to Buffalo on that 118.8″ total for 2018-19 which beat the Syracuse total by a full 3.8 inches! and hey Go Rochester currently leading the race at 61.4″ so far !
What? there is other Big News I “should” be attending to? Not today, thank you. Sundays are my sacred space days when the choices I make are intended to lower my blood pressure by raising the joy quotient in my life. Call me an escapist but this is how I keep my sanity.
So I honestly felt a warm burst of gratitude as I stood in my back yard this morning, listening to the quiet bubbling of the pond “percolators” delivering life sustaining oxygen to the fish below the frozen surface. “Breathe… breathe… breathe…” they murmured, as tiny flakes of snow began to drift down from the sky.
White icy kisses Softly tumble from the sky Swirling all around
Life inside a snowglobe… and hey the season has a long way to go. Every sparkling flake counts.
Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready
So fellow travelers, Christmas morning dawns today with radiant Light
Although our kids will not be with us this year, I am profoundly happy they are celebrating together in PDX and we will open presents with them via Skype later today. And I am deeply grateful to be at my parents’ home for Christmas this year.
It has been over thirty years since I opened presents with my parents on Christmas morning. Back in 1986 they joined me and my husband for our first Christmas in our new house in Upstate New York- the house we still call home, where we raised our daughters creating so many special Christmas memories over the years.
This afternoon our kids will join the family gathering at my brother’s home to share Christmas greetings via video on our phones. I am grateful for the technology which will make it possible to be connected when I might otherwise feel so far away from them. It is a distance which I plan to bridge in the coming year.
As I watched the sun rise through the window where my parents little tree glowed surrounded by many presents, words of gratitude began to speak from deep in my heart.
Of all the gifts beneath the tree I know the best is yet to be For later on our family will gather with much revelry Joy and laughter will resound with presents passing all around and warm thank you hugs we will exchange and pause to reach for who remains as memories within our hearts be near or far, no distance parts for Love transcends and outlasts time the greatest gift to yours and mine.
Walk gently on the path my fellow travelers and may this season of Light bless you and yours with peace and love and joy.
So fellow travelers, I woke early on the morning of the Winter Solstice to watch the sunrise and witnessed a beautiful cascade of changing colors. The waning crescent moon seemed to smile as darkness gently gave way to light. This first day of winter, marking the return of Light.
It took a few days to translate the moment into words- the first two lines came immediately, however expressing the essence of winter in five simple syllables required a bit more pondering. For me Winter has always been a time to synthesize the lessons of the previous year, to gain perspective, set goals and gather resources for the intentions set for the New Year. It is an essential pause in my ongoing journey to wherever it is this adventure of life is leading me.
2009-2019
Reflecting on this year, which also marks the end of a decade, I find myself ready to let the lessons of the past become the momentum for my new intentions. We don’t move forward if we always look back and I am looking forward to a new chapter in my life. Adventure calls and I intend to be ready.
Blessings of this season be with you all. May Light grace your holiday celebrations and carry you into a bright new decade of hope and joy.
So fellow travelers, as so often is the way of this world a wave of busyness took over almost every spare moment of the past three weeks.
accidental artistry
The irony of this following my last post was not lost on me. I was acutely aware, even a bit distressed, about not taking time to continue writing for the final four days of Michelle GD’s #GratitudeWeek2019 project. To be honest I hit a wall at the prompt about five things we consistently experienced every day which we were grateful for. Three came easily to mind but five ?
I finally created an honest list: *The first sip of coffee in the morning *The welcome home yips and wiggles of our dog *The light of golden hour *Birds seen at my feeder or heard when walking *Water as a cool drink at lunch or a warm comforting shower at day’s end
As I realized it contained nothing from work, I felt disappointed. Then the next prompts connected more dots, as I was directed to find one “sliver” of good in a difficult time and after that to be aware of our feelings at different times of the day and to find a bit of gratitude in each. The sum total of these exercises revealed how little enjoyment remains in what I do each day because my job has changed so much in the past three years. No small wonder I have felt disappointed; I do not want to become one of “those” people “just” counting the days to retirement.
Then the final prompt offered a shift in the process; Michelle wrote: “Maybe you don’t want to make a traditional list, so perhaps try one of these: Draw a big circle (or a little circle) and write your gratitudes inside. Write your gratitudes in a spiraling circle, starting center and working out (or the reverse.) Draw a flower and write gratitudes in each of the petals. Make a star-filled sky of gratitudes by sketching out stars, then painting in a wash of color for the night sky, then filling each star with a gratitude.Have a little fun…just get your gratitudes down
The drawing I created brought such joy, my eyes stung with tears. So, in between the busyness of the weeks leading up to our annual Thanksgiving marathon of cooking and road trips to take in much cherished time with family, I began to reclaim my art studio space from the clutter of other projects. More significant, I reclaimed my perspective at work. Each day my only expectation of myself is that I show up ready to do the tasks required for that day with a positive attitude. Let all the systemic issues be taken care of by those more invested in the process going forward. I have my sights set on new goals and this shift leaves space for more moments of joy and laughter. Even as the weather turned greyer and darkness fell earlier each day, I began to reconnect with the little moments of beauty ~
and peace ~
and hope
The hole in the sky where the Light comes shining through is how Love finds us
Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready
So fellow travelers, as Michelle #GratitudeWeek2019 continues the prompt for today is to think about what (or who) we might take for granted. What came to mind was time.
What came to mind was ……. time…… Today I had a dentist appointment and even though I ended up having a filling repaired I felt grateful. Because I had to take time off for the appointment I was given a chance to take our dog for a longer walk when I got home.
Bracing cold November winds gave me this view and haiku.
Deep arctic blue sky Oak leaves rattle acorns fall Sunlight hugs my soul
As the novocaine wears off and a little ache sets in I realize it is simply a reminder of how precious just a few extra hours can be.
Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready
So fellow travelers, todays #GratitudeWeek2019 prompt from Michelle GD was to slow down and practice noticing what she calls “the tiny moments.”
Sunlit Autumn path
This is something I have become more attuned to since my Spirit of Sixty Road Trip, two summers back. Actually, it is a habit I feel I am really reclaiming because I remember myself as a kid always wanting to stop to look more closely at things yet being told to stop day dreaming.
Today, I set out on my afternoon walk with our dog being mindful of the prompt to practice awareness. Fall colors have peaked and recent storms have blown most of the leaves off the trees. I watched the wind toss neatly raked leaves all about the neighborhood. I thought about how grateful I am to have seen the miraculous colors of Autumn here in Upstate New York for over four decades.
And as I did, a line of leaves began to swirl around as if chasing one another in a big spiral. Right on cue this little haiku danced around my head.
Swirling in circles Leaves play a mad game of tag Last romp before snow
There is a decided chill in the air and snow in the forecast for later this week. The change back to standard time brought darkness by dinner time. Winter is on it’s way. I’ll need that practice of noticing the little moments to get through our longest, darkest season of the year.
Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready
Please Note: All artwork, photos, text and layouts displayed on this blog that are not clearly attributed to another individual are copyright protected and sole property of Deborah Rahalski. Blog entries may be shared but re-posting or publishing of any kind without citing proper credit (including a link back to this blog whenever possible) is not permitted. Please respect content & copyright. Thank you.
