So fellow travelers, now that the school year is in full swing my sweet summer morning ritual of sitting with a good cup of coffee and writing for an hour or so has been pushed back again.
I miss it.
(Photo : a bit of humor a friend sent me on social media. I might have to add this mug to my collection)
Writing not only helps me process life, it actually compells me to seek out experiences. Other times something happens and I’m thrown off balance. I hit the trails, letting the my emotions swirl and boil at will in the relative safety of solitude. Then, when I am ready I sit at my laptop and let the words come. Often those words need a sleep or two to become cohesive.
This summer more than ever I drank deeply of the spirit to follow the call in my heart. Relinquishing the freedom to rise and write was harder than ever this September. My wake up call for work is too early to allow for time to write before leaving and so far I have been too exhausted at day’s end to put coherent thoughts together. So, for now I accept I am back to weekend writing sessions and yet even as I do it’s only possible because I know I will have that freedom once again.
Creative exploration and expression are an essential element of my ability cope with the increasing challenges of my job. The beginning of this school year has brought some positive changes but also a growing awareness our administration’s expectations far exceed their ability to support the special education teams I am part of. (“Make it work,” for example, is not a productive response to staffing shortages.) Coming into this year I made a committment to strengthen my own support system. I am determined to prevent a repeat of the detrimental impact stress had on my mental, emotional and physical being last year. In combination with other routines my creative time is part of my self preservation.
Why we have to fight so hard to stay on track with making positive choices is a puzzle. Getting caught up in negativity rarely feels good, yet we all find ourselves stuck from time to time. Self-awareness is a gift which calls us back from the pits of distress but we have to be listening to hear that call.
First light this morning revealed a thick mist settled eerily just above the ground. As the sun rose, it cast strange colors into the fog. I slept poorly last night, unsettled emotions from powerful conversations echoed through out the darkness. So I sat by my pond watching the “myst”erious interplay of light and fog.
A shot from another equally misty morning
and just like the rising sun dispersed the heavy fog, clarity lightened my thoughts
Suddenly lost in the fog
unable to see the path
breathing deeply to calm the fear
and over your breath you hear them
the voices in the mist
angry, monstrous sounds
you dare not proceed
yet you cannot go back
so you wait
and now you hear cries of pain
the need to help compels you to move
even as the fog thickens growing darker
so you hesitate
and stepping back a bit you see it
a ray of rose gold light
piercing the mist
watching as it grows stronger
as the path emerges from the fog
you realize those voices came not from out there
and the monsters you feared are yours
to leave behind or carry forward
Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready.