Tending the Fire

The world is violent and mercurial–it will have its way with you. We are saved only by love–love for each other and the love that we pour into the art we feel compelled to share: being a parent; being a writer; being a painter; being a friend. We live in a perpetually burning building, and what we must save from it, all the time, is love.”–Tennessee Williams

So fellow travelers, I rose at dawn in anticipation of catching the first sunrise of the year. First light revealed a sky obscured by heavy gray clouds.

Undeterred, I waited as our dog deciphered last night’s news from around the yard. Judging from the criss cross pattern of tracks left behind in new fallen snow our resident critters had quite the New Years Eve revelry. Suddenly a flock* of crows rose nosily from a stand of trees, drawing my attention to an intense burst of red light visible through a small gap in the clouds, just above the horizon. I found myself thinking of the saying

Red sky  at night, sailor’s delight.  Red  sky in the morning, sailor’s warning.

As suddenly as the racuous chorus of crows had  broken the sacred silence of this first morning of a new year, a thousand doubts shattered my peaceful solitude.

Had this first sunrise arrived with a warning? Is our world, as Tennessee Williams claims, a house on fire?  If we have lost sight of how to live with our differences how can the love we have for each other, for our work, for our art be enough? Is who we are, who I am enough?

Fear and anger may have shaken my resolve enough to give doubt a temporary foothold in the final months of 2016’s crushing conclusion. This morning the crows shocked my sense into awareness.  I will not be paralyzed by doubt if the world burns around me.  I do not know how to “save love” as Tennesee Williams directs. I do know how to be love by making kindness the foundation of my choices. And I know compassion will not direct my actions if I am driven by anger and fear.

So if there is to be a fire burning, let it be a fire of hope, a fire I can tend in turn with others who create from the love which ignites their spirit. There’s a lot of us out here. Join in,  I’ll save a spot by the fire for you.

Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready.

Editor’s note: *I contemplated using the descriptive term “a murder of crows” until, in keeping with my resolution to fully vet what I disseminate, I discovered the phrase is more venery (ie: a “delightful quirk of the English language“, as described in this article on audubon.org which I know to be a reliable, clickbait free source) so a flock it is.

On Excellent Adventures* and Human Foosball

So fellow travelers,  a somewhat lengthy dissertation looking back at the year that was.

Being the champion of underdogs that I am, I have begun to feel sorry for 2016. Yes, I do realize 2016 is more a conceptual frame of time than a sentient being with feelings. However I happen to be (at least when I last checked) a sentient being with feelings and those feelings have become attuned to seeking healing and grace amidst chaos.

It’s a given that 2016 was a challenging year on almost every level possible for a whole lot of people. I know many of them, indeed, I am one of them. This year was deep into major challenge mode well before the November election and the long sequence of departing iconic figures seems determined to keep the sorrow of personal losses in the spotlight of our consciousness.

Writer Jennifer Bowman penned an accurate blog piece earlier this year on the connections between personal and public loss. I was grateful she reposted it when the news of Carrie Fisher’s death hit my media feed. Her perspective on what it means to lose a creative force (yes, of course that’s an intentional reference) is a welcome reminder my grief for someone I knew through their artistic work is as valid as the feelings their work creates within me.

So it is that 2016 has become the year most people cannot wait to bid farewell to with nary an Auld Lang Syne thank you very much. Hence the reason for my opening sentiment towards poor maligned 2016 which is simply fulfilling it’s mission of coming and going with daily, if deadly, precision.

On a creative forum called The Watershed which Jennifer facilitates (look for it on Facebook)  she posed a challenge to consider 2016 from a different perspective, asking members to think back on what were our best moments in this year coming to an end.

Immediately the little spinny arrow  (the one which indicates data is in the process of uploading) starts turning in my brain. Being visually oriented I started shifting through my collection of photos from the year.

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First owl sighting on the annual Mother-Daughter Birdathon expedition, a ten year search

 

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Our marathon guy becomes a tri-athelete just weeks after we said goodbye to his Mom.

 

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Hiking on Left Coast trails with my favorite people

 

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Finding the Pacific viewpoint on the Lewis and Clark Fort to Sea trail

In a year of difficult transitions, it was immeasurably uplifting to find the embers of discovery, healing, joy and adventure still simmering deep in my soul. Family is as always the gyroscope of my life. In a time when core differences are fracturing too many families, I am grateful my own remains steadfast and strong.

And then I found the one image which stood out as a unique high point of the year, a moment captured during a creative retreat I was blessed to be part of both instigating and organizing and then attending.

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There you have it~ a game of human foosball, a phenomenon I had no idea even existed until we arrived at the retreat center to find the mysterious big wooden pen outside our lodge. Once we found out it’s purpose there was no way our intrepid group of creative cohorts would pass on the opportunity to engage in some hilarious shenanigans.

The seed for this creative retreat began as an idea in a chance conversation at another event two years prior. Our gathering evolved after a few twists of fate, some scattering, regrouping and migration, a sequence which greatly aided in clarifying how my co-instigator and I might nurture that seed to bear the fruit we intended to create. Over Labor Day weekend, one much loved dog and a baker’s dozen of creative spirits from all walks of life and as far away as Utah gathered to write, paint, knit, draw, press flowers and get lost in the woods on photo shoots. We laughed as we shared stories, meals, ideas, techniques and most importantly a true spirit of commraderie.

My creative tribe has become my extended family. Everytime we gather, whether as a group or tête-à-tête I come away feeling stronger, lighter and exponentially more hopeful. In a world facing so much uncertainty, the priceless gifts of friendship, strength, hope and Light are precious commodities I am grateful to have .

Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready.

*written and posted with heartfelt thanks to my co-instigator and partner in shenanigans Beth Heffern. Can’t wait to start plotting our  next most excellent adventure.

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the first present

So fellow travelers, on my annual holiday road trip to distribute gifts and hugs to my side of the family, we drove from windswept snowbound vistas through freezing drizzle in the Poconos arriving at last in not-quite-as-Sunny-as-the-show-claims-Philadelphia. Warm hugs, cheerful banter and hearty meals quickly dispelled the gloominess of grey skies. I woke this morning to find this post from my good friend Kate in my blog feed. This has been a holiday season with too many empty chairs at the table. It is good to have friends who keep the embers in our souls alive when the winds of change seem hell bent on extinguishing hope. As I read I could feel her rich tapestry of words wrap around me like a soft warm blanket. May peace and comfort bless us all.

Solstice Circle

So fellow travelers, last night a good friend of mine from my Vision Quest years hosted a drumming circle to honor the Winter Solstice.

We  sent a big vibrant wave of energy out to enfold our world and all creatures living here.

Consider yourselves hugged.

You’re welcome.

 We all needed it, I know.

This morning as all the lights and bushes by my little pond were being blessed with a sparkling coat of new snow, these words rose from the silence~

Drumbeats call hearts join

Let Peace and Light hug our world

Solstice Circle Song

 Blessings of the season to all.

Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready.


Joshua Dubois: What the President secretly did at Sandy Hook Elementary School

My definition of a true leader in a crisis

Mountain Magic

So fellow travelers, I woke this morning to the booming echo of Big Black Dog woofs ricocheting through snow dusted trees.


Peering through the frost lined window I can just make out the solid profile of Mt Monandnock against a pearl dawn sky.

I scrunch deeper into layered warmth of red and green comforters and watch the light change.

Downstairs I hear the rattle of kibble filling dog bowls and the happy tap dance of my friend Kate’s Big Black Dogs.

Listening closely I heard words from the distant Mountain.

Stand tall touch the sky

 Mountain magic steady strong

Stars of hope shine bright.

As I approach this winter season I find myself seeking something deep and elusive. I know not what it is,

not yet

While I search I will gratefully gather all the threads of Light I can find in good faith they will weave a strong braid of hope for the coming year.

Mt. Monandnock making magic with the Grandmother Moon.

Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready.

Uncomfortable. Different. Progress.

Right in sync, as often happens, Tom’s piece gives me insights I needed. Perfect followup up to my recent posts.

Freedom’s Song: Welcome All

So fellow travelers, back home from our Thanksgiving road trip, snuggled on the couch with our dog as a curtain of lake effect rain falls from the steel grey sky.

“Lake  effect rain” is our local weather team’s reminder it would be snowing if the temperatures were colder.

As in :  keep those snow shovels handy and snow blowers at the ready.

Buddy, our front door greeter stands ready.

I’m using this quiet time to regroup mentally after several unsettling interactions over the weekend. Feeling close to an emotional tipping point is a flag I have learned to pay attention to.

Anger, fear and judgement are heavy burdens to bear and it’s hard to witness the toll they take on people. It’s not easy these days to have faith that Love will prevail. This deep weariness of spirit is a signal I need to reset priorities, redefine purpose and renew my committment to acting from kindness.

In trying to return to mindful compassion, I found myself recalling the recent blessing of birds. Within the memory I found some words which lingered on the edge of awareness. I hope anyone seeking safe passage on their journey through this life will feel welcome in my space.

Chinaberry Feast

Robins singing freedoms song

Migrants welcome here

Walk gently on the path my friends and may adventure find you ready .


Sanctuary Song

So fellow travelers, today we celebrate Thanksgiving a holiday dedicated to my two favorite things in life: family and food.

This morning I took our dog out for a good long walk before heading on the road to dinner at my brother’s house. He’s set an essential rule this year :  “Please leave all politics at the door.” It says something about the challenges of current times that he even felt a need to do so, yet I am grateful he did. We all need to relax and enjoy being together, to be in a space where the most divisive questions are  “red or white with dinner ?”  and  “apple or pumpkin for dessert?”

For the record the answer to the latter question is simply “Yes, please.”

Delilah and I walked down a neighborhood street where the two feet of lake effect snow which fell a few days ago has buried the election signs left standing either in victory or defiance.

 For once I am grateful for the early snowfall.

As that thought rattled around my weary brain cells, I caught the sound of distant bird calls. Rounding a corner we came across a row of trees filled with birds. As I stopped to take in the welcome chatter I recognized a song among the passing migrants I had not heard for several weeks.

Scanning the bare branches towering above us I realized the songs were coming from a small Chinaberry tree right in front of us where a small flock of robins had paused for breakfast.

Chinaberry buffet for migrant robins.

I stood silent, eyes closed, breathing in the clear cold air, letting the sweet, harmonious “cheeriup, cheeriup, cheerio” fill my soul with the hope of spring and joys of summer. I stood  a long time, embedding this sacred moment into the roots of my existence.
Tears ran down my face in a river of deep cleansing gratitude.

Gratitude for awareness

Gratitude for the healing powers of nature

Gratitude for family near and far, here and in Spirit

Gratitude for the gift of being alive.

“Fly fast and free feathered friends,” I whispered before moving on, “If it’s not too much a burden, please carry our prayers for hope, strength and solidarity to the Heart of God.”

One solidarity robin flew out from the tree, swooped overhead then circled back to settle again in the branches. I’ll take that as an affirmation for hope.

Blessings of gratitude go with you all, fellow travelers. Walk gently on the path and may adventure find you ready.

To hear or not to hear

So fellow travelers, fair warning, this is long and it is about the recent election here in America.

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Hope, like a late season water lily, waiting to bloom.

Politics is not something I have not written about, at least not directly. It has not been possible to post anything related to this election without becoming a target for anger and hate speech.

Anger, is a heavy burden to bear. It drains life energy and, over time, even righteous anger sucks all joy out of existence. I have stood on that precipice myself and seen this in the lives of too many people I hold dear to ignore its effect. To the best of my ability, anger is a cycle I choose to break  with compassion.

Thus in the spirit of striving for compassion and comprehension, I have been reading posts on various sources from voters who selected the President-elect.

It has been a sobering and eye opening experience.

I will say the prevailing reasoning I have been reading actually is not directly racist or xenophobic and while many reflect conservative Christian beliefs,  most posts are not specifically intolerant of LGBT or Muslims. (I am not saying those attitudes don’t exist, they do and most clearly and dangerously frame the platform of the President-elect’s current council.) I saw a Charlie Rose  interview with Jon Stewart  in which he said the same about the people he knows who supported the President-elect.

What has come through most clearly is a prevailing belief that the current direction of social and economic norms left these voters feeling discounted and forgotten. These were votes cast for change, made from a need to be heard. The feeling of having struggles discounted, of not being heard, of seeking leadership to make a difference is common to the majority of voters regardless of where they stand on any given issue. It’s my observation most Americans want socio-economic stability yet very few are willing to sacrifice to ensure that opportunity is equally accessible for every citizen.

Time will tell if the choice of these voters will bring the kind of socio-economic stability they seek while staving off the change and diversity they fear. Meanwhile we all have to find ways to live with the consequences.

In his interview with Charlie Rose, Jon made a statement I found remarkably comforting, He said, “I don’t believe we are a fundamentally different country today than we were two weeks ago. The same country with all its grace and flaws and volatility and insecurity and strength and resilience exists today as existed two weeks ago. ”  This was both reassuring and a wake up call for me.

The same country which came close to electing our first woman President also held in it’s ranks a force of repressed anger and fear which has found a voice. Having gained power, this force can no longer be denied.  It is not enough to verbally denounce the principles of discrimination and acts of violence against our fellow citizens, or denounce myopic economics over ecology.  If we wish to make a stand against intolerance and ignorance, we must act in ways which show our committment.

We need to understand those who also reject violence and do not discriminate, yet saw  the President-elect as the only solution. And we also need to find ways to reach the vast numbers of registered voters who felt so little connection to the options, they chose not to vote, because more people chose not to vote at all than voted for the President-elect.

We must go beyond labeling, dig deeper than judgement and in hearing their concerns, listen for the common ground we may have. For there is common ground and no matter how slight or obscured, it must not be discounted.  To seek it is to find a starting point. From there it becomes a focus of taking one step, one opportunity at a time, to move beyond division.

Walk gently on the path my friends. This adventure call us to be ready.